


Dorian's Advice

by WritingAngelMarie



Category: Eroica Yori Ai o Komete | From Eroica with Love
Genre: Comedy, Enemies to Lovers, Erotica, M/M, Masturbation, Masturbation Interruptus
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:13:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24221878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritingAngelMarie/pseuds/WritingAngelMarie
Summary: Earl Dorian Red Gloria gives Major Klaus advice on how to relieve stress, and Klaus tries it out.
Relationships: Klaus von dem Eberbach/Dorian Red Gloria
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5





	Dorian's Advice

“Major, do you ever masturbate?” Dorian Red Gloria asked the personal question all of a sudden, while they were tangled up in yet another battle over a piece of art.

“What the hell?!” Klaus was appalled, “That’s disgusting! I’m not a wanker like you!”

“Oh, that explains it,” Dorian replied, coming to a conclusion. “It’s no wonder you’re so high-strung all the time! You need to release stress!”

“Yeah, no thanks,” Klaus replies, with an irritated twitch of his eyebrow. “I can relieve stress by meditating or drinking a margarita.”

“Ah, yes,” the blonde partially agrees, “but a margarita won’t relieve aching loins.”

“My loins are just fine,” the German argues, before feeling a little embarrassed to be mentioning his loins to the art thief. Whatever the context, their conversations always seemed to end up with Eroica making some sort of flirtation or suggestion to him. It made him sick.

  
  


After Eroica’s successful heist, the earl returned home to his mansion. He needed to check up on his earnings after the previous ransom, so he headed over to the room of his accountant, James. As he approached the door, he heard some sounds from within. 

“Oh, Earl,” James whispered to himself, and he stroked himself. A soft moan escaped his lips. 

Dorian heard this from outside the door, and knew exactly what he was doing. But he didn’t care. He knocked on the door, startling the poor accountant.

“Y-yes?” James’s voice cracked with nervousness. He thought he was going to have a heart attack. He felt like he’d just been caught committing a murder. If the earl heard him whisper his name, he might as well hang himself right then.

“I know you’re busy at the moment,” the subject of James’s desires spoke casually through the door, “but when you’re done what you’re doing, I need you to go over my finances with me. I want to make sure I didn’t miss anything.”

“Y-yes, sir,” James replied.

“I’ll be in my room,” Dorian informed him, before leaving walking back down the hall.

James finally released the breath he was holding. He was relieved that his boss didn’t seem to notice what he was doing, but… there’s no way he felt comfortable finishing the job after that interruption. So he made himself presentable, tried to hide his boner, and walked down the hall.

The earl had just sat down in his divan to read a book about Art for Art’s Sake, when his subordinate entered the room. “James,” he exclaimed with surprise, “that was much too quick. Were you able to finish?”

“E-excuse me?” The small black haired man tried to play dumb. “What do you mean?”

“You were masturbating, were you not?” Dorian asked calmly. “I hope my interruption didn’t prevent you from coming.”

James’s face was beet red. His boss always embarrassed him… made him feel like a worthless laughing stock… but this was a whole new low. 

“No, don’t be ashamed,” his boss assured him, “Earlier today, I had just told Major Klaus that he should do that. He’s so tense. It’s good that you care for your body, James. Now sit.”

The lackey cautiously walked over and sat on the adjacent chair. “So… you aren’t mad?” He asked while fumbling through his paperwork.

“That you were rubbing one out while thinking of me?” Earl Dorian asked nonchalantly.

James wanted to kill himself.

“Not at all,” the aristocrat answers. “I don’t blame you. I  _ am  _ quite desirable.”

James slowly started remembering how to breathe.

“However,” Dorian adds, while he looks over at his subordinate’s hands, “what  _ does  _ anger me is your bodily fluids on my financial papers.”

  
  
  


Major Klaus Heinz Von Dem Eberbach was stressed. Beyond stressed. He couldn’t stand that flamboyant degenerate who always got the better of him. He always stole what was rightfully his, and he always knew just what to do or say to tick him off. Klaus sat there for a while in the private living room of his mansion, thinking about his nemesis. The way he walked, the way he talked… everything about him got under his skin. Klaus’s thoughts wandered, wondering exactly what it was that irked him so badly. Even if he wasn’t a thief, it wouldn’t make a difference. Klaus would still despise him with every fiber of his being. 

Klaus analyzed Earl Dorian Red Gloria in his mind. He remembered the smell of him, the curl of his blonde hair. He visualized those long, mascara-covered lashes, those blue eyes, those full lips, that strong jawline. He always wore those open, sleeveless blouses that revealed his chest, shoulders, and biceps. His skinny pants showed off his long legs, as well as much more than any decent, modest member of society would reveal. Klaus knew he dressed that way specifically to draw attention to his assets. And it made Klaus so… so…

Klaus stopped in his thoughts as he felt a sensation in his loins. He looked down, and noticed a growing erection in his suit pants.

“Shit”, he cursed aloud. Did the infamous Eroica really get to him this way? He couldn’t be attracted to that… that louse! ...Could he? He tried to shake it off. He walked around the room a couple times, observing the furnishings, the artwork. But everything he saw just brought his thoughts back to the Englishman. And with each thought, his pants felt a little tighter. “You’ve gotta be kidding me,” he grumbled. He sat back down in his recliner.

He looked down at his bulging groin. Eroica’s advice from earlier popped into his head. Could touching oneself really relieve stress? He got up and glanced out into the hallway. None of his servants were nearby. He locked the door behind him, and returned to his seat, putting the tv on for some background noise, so he didn't get discovered.

“It’s just like a massage,” the major convinced himself, “I’m giving myself a much needed massage, so I can get that asshole out of my head.” He reached down and unzipped his trousers, letting the air touch his sensitive area. He slowly reached his hand down and touched himself ever so gently. “This isn’t so bad,” he thought to himself. He wrapped his fingers around himself and rubbed up and down, letting out some fluid. He rubbed the delicate head, and let out a moan. The wetness made his hand glide up and down his shaft much smoother, adding to his pleasure. He sighed and relaxed his shoulders.

Dorian popped into his head again. He tried to fight it, but as he continued to stroke himself, the image only became clearer. Suddenly, it wasn’t his hand on his privates anymore. It was Dorian’s. Those slender, smooth fingers with long, manicured nails pumped him passionately. Klaus allowed himself to give into the pleasure. He moaned as he rocked his hips, pumping himself harder and harder, while imagining the irritating blonde. Those fingers delved downward onto his delicate scrotum and gently massaged them.

“Oh,” Klaus couldn’t help but let out an audible sound. He allowed what he imagined to be the other man’s fingernails graze up his shaft, before embracing the head once more. Klaus felt a little lightheaded, but he didn’t mind. With his other hand, which he pretended was the blonde’s, he rubbed his nipple through his dress shirt. The sensation made him shudder.

He could feel himself getting closer. He squeezed himself firmly as he pulled all the way from the base to the head and back down again. Over and over, faster and faster.

“Ahh!” He tried to hold back his moans, but he couldn’t. His body became overwhelmed with pleasure, as his eyes shot open, and his mouth gaped. He arched forward and quickly grabbed the tissues, as a generous amount of fluid shot fiercely out of him. “Mmm… Ahhh-ah!” He moaned even louder, embarrassed at the unfamiliar sound escaping from his own throat. He continued to touch himself as best as he could, until he was empty. He keptleaking until the last stroke, when he couldn’t move any more. His body gave out, and he laid back in his recliner, every muscle in his body completely relaxed. He fell asleep and had peaceful dreams about tanks.

**Author's Note:**

> Stay tuned to see what happens when Dorian finds out!


End file.
